Bookworm in the City

No. 22 – A book with more than 500 pages

Confessions of a Forty-Something F**k Up / Alexandra Potter

This book has 547 pages but the last 43 turned out to be preview chapters of books yet to come. I find this annoying to a level where I make loud sounds of disappointment and anger: you’re reading and then out of the blue, bam, book done. It’s like climbing stairs but you’re already at the top or bottom and there’s nothing to step left. It’s weird. (It’s also very easy to land on your face.) In the end the book came in at 504 pages so it still counts for the challenge. Which I was happy with because, staying on topic, I have to confess I don’t read a lot of big books.
Nice as they might be, they are just too impractical as it requires both hands to carry the weight, which rules out reading on public transport and in bed. They also take up too much weight and volume in my bag to carry them along. And yes, an e-reader could solve those problems, but for me this would be the only argument to use them and that’s simply not enough. Instead, I just extra enjoy those moments where I do have time and the right mindset to sit down and dive in. And did I dive! Despite its volume, I finished this book in one day. That’s a record for me but it’s an easy read and to be honest, the layout helped, with pleasant font, size and alignment. Also, I had no other plans and was not in the mood for chores so basically it meant as long as I was reading, I didn’t have to do laundry.
And yes, of course, it was the title that made me gravitate towards this book, but I’ve read and liked other books by this author (Me & Mr. Darcy, Who’s That Girl?) so picking this up was a no-brainer.

Nell is the forty-something f**k-up from the title. Returning to London after losing a business and a fiancé in the US, she has to start over again at an age where she had pictured herself all set. Instead, she’s now renting a room and sharing the flat with her landlord. She’s back to basics on the job front as well, lucky to land a freelance gig writing obituaries. She’s not keen on meeting up with her parents, fearing a second degree questioning from her mother. And while she is keen on meeting up with old friends again, they have all moved on and don’t have time for wild nights out or even coffee in the city, as they are too busy dropping kids off at various places.
Seeing her friends married with children and living in houses they own instead of rent, makes Nell feel less than capable and their Instagram feeds of perfect kitchens, baked goodies and glamping trips, leave her crying in self-doubt.
I guess this is exactly why doctors and psychologists warn against the use of social media. I naively also thought that grown-ups would know better, but I’m not on Instagram or TikTok, so I don’t know how addictive it can be.
Instead of going offline, Nell keeps torturing herself with self-doubt, and when she finally realizes she needs to talk to someone, she decides on the broke-ass version of therapy and buys herself a microphone, downloads an app and starts to podcast.
When she learns her first episode had two listeners, she already feels less alone and continues to podcast.
Out in the real world, she makes friends with an elderly widow she met writing the husband’s obituary. This lady (Cricket) lost friends when she lost her husband and also has to start over in life. So, when Nell has tickets for a concert, she invites Cricket, and when Cricket needs help donating her husband’s clothes to charity, she calls Nell.
Although Cricket seems to be coping well and moving on, Nell discovers that not only might people paint a different picture online, even in real life people put on a brave face to hide their true feelings.
I’s easy to relate to Nell: who hasn’t questioned her own plans, or compared herself to friends? Insecurities are for all ages. Ditto for arguments with roommates, the horrors of (online) dating, and the ups and downs in friendships.
Being the only one of your friends without a relationship or children, was something I related to as well, but even if you don’t, it’s easy to get into Nell’s mindset.
And Nell’s mindset is not something only relatable to the readers, but of course, her podcast audience keeps growing as well. I won’t spoil anything more than this.

One of the blurbs mentions Bridget Jones and it’s easy to compare the two. However, where Bridget Jones was more romantic comedy and about finding love, this book is about being okay with yourself, even when yourself is not at her best.
That makes this book more women’s fiction than romantic comedy and it’s a cosy and easy read.
The sequel is about to be released any moment but I’m waiting a bit so as not to overdo it.
And the same applies to the tv series. I watched the first ten minutes of the first episode, and although it seems more inspired by than based on, I need some more distance before watching this.
(Not Dead Yet is streaming on Disney+ here, not sure about other countries.)